Determination & Letting Go

Happy New Year! I hope everyone is feeling fresh and excited about the new opportunities that 2019 holds! Let’s go get all we want!

2018 buried me in unfinished family business, Playhouse business, book business, and mom business! I am trying to navigate it all, but I think I am going to refer to the movie Frozen and just “Let it Go, Let it Go.” (and now that song is stuck in your head!)  I feel like my 2019 goals should address this, but that just puts more pressure on me, so what am I going to do? “Let it Go, Let it Go!”  What I am really looking for is a balance.

I am not sure how to attain balance, because everything is a priority!  That pregnant mom, that new playhouse, that awesome donor; GiGi’s continues to bring AMAZING people and opportunities into my life, which are all GOOD problems to have, but something must give. (I know so many of you understand exactly what I mean, and I am thankful for that.) Then, just when I think it is too much, God brings me back to where I need to be.

These pictures say it all. Like GiGi, I must build myself from the inside out. I cannot be strong if I am not taking care of myself and my body.  So, I have decided that I am going to work alongside this beautiful girl and adopt her life lessons!  When it gets hard for me, I need to remember that God didn’t give her the muscles that he gave to me to strengthen myself, which it makes it 10X harder for her, but she rallies on!
The realization for me is that I need to take care of myself, so I can take care of everything else! I want to share something, that up until now, I have not talked about or shared with my GiGi’s family and friends.  Eight years ago, I had my first TIA aka mini-stroke.  It made no sense, I was too young to have a stroke and I was embarrassed by it; and therefore, I never fully addressed the physical and mental effects it had on me.  I continued to move on as if it never happened, until it happened again.  Since then, I have been hiding the physical deficit I have on my left side.  It is minimal, so I can cover it up, but what I need to do is fix it!  I have been afraid to fix it because of the embarrassment of being weak, plus I am afraid it will happen again.  I remember being at the gym and doing jumping jacks.  I looked up and the instructor was staring at me in the mirror with this weird look on his face.  I then looked at myself in the mirror and saw that I was doing the jumping jacks, but my left leg was not moving!  I was mortified! I have since changed my workout routine so that my left-sided weakness is not seen, and my right side can help pull my left side through, but it is taking a toll on my body, and I needed to fix it.  With this little motivator by my side, I am no longer going to hide behind my adversity.  I am going to face it head on like the AMAZING mommas who walk into the Playhouse every day to make a better life for their children, and the Playhouse leaders across the county and in Mexico who selflessly run their playhouse and serve others.

My 2019 resolution will be to follow the example of the thousands of individuals with Down syndrome who walk in a GiGi’s Playhouse facing the deficits of their diagnosis every day and never use it as an excuse to not give their #bestofall! They are my heroes and my inspiration.

I am letting go of everything that I am behind in and be the best me I can be.  “Let it Go, Let it Go..”

Phew! It feels so good to let that go and to share it with all of you! I would love to hear what you are letting go of this year. #strongertogether