Total Inclusion

“Can we talk about whether Havurah could be a viable option for this boy?” The email came last May, and I had no idea how the power of this one email would impact my life.  Melissa Lader, in the Center for Special Needs, was connecting me to Aedan, a 4 year old boy with Down Syndrome.

Havurah is a hands-on Jewish education program for children ages 3-8, which takes place on Saturdays at The JCC. The program is part of our Center for Children and Families, which, like our Nursery School, is an inclusive setting where we make space for children with varying levels of abilities. We believe that every child brings a variety of interests and strengths, and will face challenges in their own way. Our goal is to support children as they reach their potential within a caring and inspiring community.

My response to Melissa was, “Absolutely!”

Through the past 8 weeks in Havurah, the teachers and children have spent a lot of time getting to know each other and learning about each individual in the classroom community. Every child brings something unique and important to the group, and it is our goal as educators to recognize and celebrate these qualities.

As adults we often gloss over these differences. When children point out differences among people, our response is often to tell them that we are all the same, point out the similarities between us, or hush them and tell them what they are noticing is not appropriate. But we’re not all the same! Each of us can only be who we are, which is slightly different from each other, and this is what the children are noticing. Some of us have long hair or bald heads, we can be short or very tall, some people are quick to learn or take a little more time to understand, some have perfect grammar or take longer to get our thoughts across. And while each one of these attributes doesn’t completely define us, they are part of the larger whole of who we are.

During the first few weeks in Havurah, the children were timid and a little nervous around Aedan. He physically looks different and though he understands what you are saying, he doesn’t speak. Aedan has a wide range of facial expressions and uses his hands, face and whole body to communicate. It is through these gestures that Aedan is able to show you his wonderful personality. Aedan is loving, kind, friendly, happy, easy going, opinionated, interested, interesting, and one of a kind.

The class has developed a game that they call “Duck, Duck, Havurah,” to help the children learn each other’s names and build trust among the group. Similar to Duck, Duck, Goose, the children sit in a circle and tap the head of each child, saying each child’s name as they go around. Once they reach the person that they want to chase, they say, “Havurah!” A lively game of chase ensues, until the runner safely reaches their spot and sits down.

Initially when playing this game, some children would tentatively tap Aedan’s head, and quickly move on to the next child. It is through this game and other classroom experiences that Aedan has helped the children to understand who he is—and that there is nothing to be hesitant about! Each time a child taps his head, Aedan displays a humungous grin, showing the children that he likes being part of the game and being tapped.

This past week, I observed a new stage in this game. As someone tapped Aedan’s head and yelled “Havurah,” he jumped up and ran around the circle as fast as he could—smiling and giggling the whole way around. He then went around tapping each child gently on their head, just as he had seen modeled by his peers. When it was Aedan’s turn to be chased, something interesting happened. The child who was chasing him changed her speed. She could have easily jogged right past him, tagging him “out,” but that’s not what happened. She gave him space to run faster. She recognized the difference and made space for it. She knew that this is what he needed to be successful.

And then the game continued—this time even though Aedan was not picked, he jumped up again and began running around the circle. You can imagine the list of things that may have happened next, children calling him names, screaming, or saying “Aedan sit down,” but none of these are the scenario that played out. One by one, the children jumped up and joined Aedan in running around the circle. They loved his idea! And thus, a new classroom tradition has been created, which Aedan started!

In Havurah Aedan can be found snuggled up to his friends listening to a book, exploring the properties of flour while baking Challah, clapping his hands to music, or laughing hysterically with his friends playing a game of “Duck, Duck, Havurah.” Last week while cooking, it was difficult to spot Aedan in the group; he was standing with a group of friends, hard at work, shaping the dough for Chanukah cookies.

Aedan’s experience in Havurah is proof that he can. That he is able. That other children are ready and able to accept him for who he is. Children are capable of embracing and celebrating difference among their peers, showing us that they too are ready for this experience. Each member of our community is infinitely valuable for who they are and what they bring—themselves.

Shabbat Shalom,

Jacqueline