Thoughts of a GiGi’s Mom

Co-creation.  Partnering with God.  Somehow those thoughts always appealed to me.

For me, they reflect a long journey into bringing forth a new life.  A privilege.  And not one I take lightly.  By1995, I had willingly entered this journey seven times.  The first three times had ended in loss. The next three times had ended with a win of a live baby each time.  I was now on my 7 th pregnancy and I admit, I had gotten complacent.  I had expected this thing to work, this co-creation one more time.  Pregnancy is a lot like a ride on a tube slide, sometimes dark, sometimes splashy, but always a light at the end of the tunnel.  I was at the end of the ride.  I could see the light.  Labor itself is a lot like blowing a watermelon through a garden hose, but the watermelon was descending.  My husband stood by me, helping me breathe, relax, focus, endure for each contraction.  The tremendous pressure…then the final push….and the doctor placed a warm baby on my stomach.  However, nothing could have prepared me for what I was to see when I looked at her.  She was quickly turning the color of blue jeans, and my voice shattered the silence as I spoke the obvious….”that baby is very blue.”.   Hands reached out to grab her, commands shouted…a flurry of energy and noise….a nurse grabbed her hand and patted it as she yelled..”come on honey hang on” to my tiny daughter.

The medical professionals turned from me in my birth position and left my placenta still intact inside while they worked feverishly to save my daughter’s life. My husband and I looked at each other, eyes locked, and did the only thing we could do….pray….we would stop for a minute as God would drop the name of a friend on our heart and we would call them….. Bev…..Lynnette…..others….

and ask them to join us in prayer.  Yet, we felt a strange sense of peace along the way.

The gentle tube slide ride had turned into a nightmarish roller coaster we didn’t even know we had boarded until the descent was underway. Five hours later, I see my baby for the first time, hooked up to 7 machines and in a device called a roadrunner that would take her into neonatal intensive care across town.  We filmed her as we did our other babies, and I reached in the side to touch her hand.  Then she was whisked away.

I would not see her again for 2 days, and when I did, the neo-natalogist told us that we had a decision to make.  She was dying, and if we did nothing by morning she would be dead.  He gave us that decision first.  The two other alternatives were putting her on a heart and lung machine.  This operation alone kills 25% of them just by undergoing it.  Or, give her nitric oxide.  We had never heard of it but at this point, there were only 3 places on the united states where you could receive this. One was in Rockford at the neonatal unit where Melody was.  It was experimental and could not be just given to anyone.  You had to pass criteria.  She passed 8 of the 9.  She was the 3rd child to receive it.  One had lived and one had died.  this treatment was so risky that a nurse and respiratory therapist had to be stationed by her bed the whole time she received it.

As we prayed, we felt the God of the Universe put His Hand on our shoulder and give us the go ahead to do this.  After she was hooked up, the respiratory therapist looked up at us and told us that the hospital had spent the last 9 months getting this and that his church had hundreds of hours of prayer into it.  In other words, her whole pregnancy, somebody had been praying and getting this treatment ready for her just preparing for her arrival!  We serve a big God!  Praise Him for His Faithfulness even in the midst of our storm.  He is the Lighthouse when we can’t see the shore.    Submitted by Jodi Didier