Marijo’s Why

When my fourth son, David, was born four weeks early on Leap Day 2012, I knew our life was changed forever.  But it wasn’t until fourteen hours later that I fully understood to what extent.  Time seemed to stand still as the pediatric doctor shared her observations about our son with me and my husband. She was concerned that he may have Down syndrome. Unlike many stories I have heard, she delivered the unexpected news in very caring and compassionate way.  Even with her compassion I was scared and angry and the tears began flowing. I didn’t ask for this. I wasn’t prepared for this. Why me?

Welcome to the world, sweet David!

I spent the next 48 hours of my hospital stay, surfing the internet on my phone to find everything I could about Down syndrome. I prayed for strength. I prayed the doctors were wrong. I mourned the loss of the dreams I had for him and our family. But most importantly, I promised my son, I would always love him and I would always be there for him.

During those first few weeks of my maternity leave, I spent much time learning about Down syndrome however, I focused entirely too much of that time on all the things that could go wrong. I learned March 21^st, David’s due date was World Down Syndrome Day. I cried most of day and I wondered how can people celebrate this extra chromosome?

Strike!!

As the days, weeks, and months continued, it became abundantly clear to me why people celebrate. Every milestone David reached took so much more work and effort than his typical developing brothers. Until David I never realized how much I took for granted with the other boys. It takes a lot of work to learn to sit up, to stand, to crawl, to walk, to jump, to throw a ball, to talk, to ….

While this extra chromosome makes it harder for David to do many of the things that come easy to his brothers, there is nothing he hasn’t been able to accomplish! He simply needs more practice. He needs more time. He has succeeded. He will continue to succeed!

Today, I understand my job as his mom is not to make my dreams for him come true. My job is to make HIS dreams come true. And they best way I can do this is to love and support him just like I love his brothers!

While are a few different opportunities for me to support him, there is not one organization like GiGi’s Playhouse Fargo – a place near and dear to my heart. GiGi’s Playhouse sees the potential in all individuals and celebrates the extra chromosome and provides opportunities for David to succeed. To the outsider, it may look like David is playing with stickers or Playdough, but I see development and improvement in fine motor skills he will need to write his name. To the outsider, it may look like song and story time but I see David improving in his attending skills which will make it easier for him to participate more fully in class when he starts kindergarten. To the outsider, it may look he is

The Amazing Schwengler Family!

throwing socks through a hula hoop but I see him improving his skills of throwing a ball which will make recess with his friend so much more fun!

I would be lying if I didn’t say I find as much value at GiGi’s Playhouse for myself and my family. I love being to visit with other families, relate to the struggles and celebrate their successes. What can I learn from them and how can I help them? GiGi’s Playhouse reminds me a quote I placed on monitor shortly after David’s birth, “It’s not a race; it’s a relay. Of one generation of parents to the next. We are in this together, learning as we go because love our kids.”

Remember GiGi’s Playhouse on February 9th and make a donation to help other’s find their “Why”!