The gift of Adoption – GiGi’s Playhouse Syracuse

One of the first responses a person has when they hear someone has adopted is “that child is so blessed to find a home”. While this is true we think there is so much more. Add special needs into the adoption story and well you are in for a beautiful labor and delivery. It can be long, difficult, filled with tears of joy or fear and will most likely  stretch you more than you thought was possible but in the end something sacred is born. A family.

We are so happy to have Ashley Pratt come and share her families adoption story with us. They just celebrated their beautiful daughter Alaina 1st “Gotcha Day” this November.  How awesome is that!?

“Thinking over this past year is a very emotional process for me! It has been an incredible journey with dark pieces, tears, and numerous breakthrough moments of sheer joy. It is really hard to give a glimpse of what it has been like to everyone, but our GiGi’s family will understand. I only dream that our story might inspire hope in others and help to spread the passion of special needs adoption like a wild fire. Our story did not start this year and it is not even close to being finished. Yet, we want to be vocal about it all as we travel this road, knowing the raw transparency of others gave us incredible strength to pursue our adoption.

In March of 2013, God began putting adoption on both of our hearts. We had always been open to the idea, but suddenly each of us felt a great need to act on what we felt the Spirit nudging in our lives. Our journey began with very little knowledge of what the adoption process would be like, how much paperwork it would involve, or how drastically God would open our eyes to new aspects of who He is as our Father.

Our decision to prayerfully move forward did not make sense to many people, especially some who were very close to us. We already had two adorable, healthy biological children. We had a boy and a girl. They were both still very young, rambunctious, and dependent on us for daily tasks. We were average, hardworking people, who did not make a large sum of money. The cost of international adoption appeared a daunting feat on paper. Despite the questions of others or logical reasons to ignore His leading, we pressed on in faith.

Honestly, we did not begin our adoption journey with the expectation that we would bring home a child with down syndrome. My husband and I both felt open to special needs, but did not really discuss in thorough details what that meant when we placed our application. We both felt strongly led to pursue adoption and the process of paperwork/research helped us to discuss more specific needs. Adopting from Bulgaria is an awesome opportunity, as they required us to review 7 pages of special needs and complete the checklist of what we would consider. I distinctly remember pouring over those pages around Thanksgiving time, feeling gratitude for all the health risks and concerns we had not dealt with for our other two children. Our hearts were pierced, though! We could not imagine saying “no” to being a family for a child based solely on a specific diagnosis. There were certain things listed that we felt completely ill-prepared to handle. There were also some things that we realized, for the first time, that we would be very open to. Down syndrome was one of those:) Our family visited GiGi’s playhouse and met with other parents on this beautiful journey. We were given overwhelming support, literature, and encouragement. Mostly, I was given the gift of knowing that we would not be alone in loving this child. After completing and submitting our list for processing, we kept seeing pictures of waiting children that had down syndrome. No matter what agency or adoption website I might be reviewing, little almond shaped eyes met my gaze. Each precious little face seemed to beg the question, “can you love me, for me?” God was preparing me to open my heart to this beautiful, little girl 🙂

We made two trips to Bulgaria. On our first trip, meeting Alaina for the first time was one of the most overwhelming experiences that we encountered on our adoption journey! Before our first trip, I read many stories of birth mothers who had children with down syndrome. Many of them talked about a mourning process that occurred when their baby was born. They described feeling “cheated” by the medical staff that acted as if this diagnosis eliminated the joyous celebration that should accompany every live delivery. When we met Alaina, I felt that we experienced the adoption version of that story! Immediately after she was placed in my arms, the orphanage staff questioned why we would ever want to adopt a child with down syndrome. They kept mentioning that we already had two healthy children at home. They just could not understand this. They quickly jumped into reviewing all of our questions regarding her medical health history. It was overwhelming to take all of this in, while looking at her weak, little body. Due to some differences in her environment and lack of resources, she did not receive the amazing therapy support early on in her development, that she would have if she was born here in America. Face to face interaction and frequent physical affection was not a regular part of her day. She was clean and fed, but she needed love. Alaina was in a large orphanage and did a lot of self soothing. She was nervous with us and used a lot of her self-soothing tendencies on that initial introduction. Our hearts ached for her situation and we deeply questioned during our first visit if we could give her everything she deserved. Ultimately though, the love of God is what made the decision for us. It is because of His love in our lives that we value ALL LIFE. No matter what the differences, pace change, or so called “contribution to society”. We believe that every human being has value because they are all made in the image of God. For our family, this means that there are no mistakes and all of us have something valuable to contribute to the world. This especially meant that Alaina was a precious gift who needed a special family that could express consistent, unconditional love and watch her thrive. She seemed to light up during our visits and each day she was more interactive with us. Despite an overwhelming introduction, we knew this was our daughter! She has drastically changed our lives forever.

Our daughter, Alaina Hope Pratt came home in November 2014, at 2 years old. Her name means “beautiful light of hope” and we began to pray that this is exactly what her story would demonstrate to the world! There is hope for every child to receive the love of family. There is hope that this unconditional love will transform all of us. Ultimately, we believed that God saw great things in store for Alaina’s life and that filled our hearts with hope for the rest of the journey.

Alaina is now a spunky and spirited 3 year old. She is a totally different little girl from the one we met that first day in the orphanage. This year has been a glorious unfolding of her physical development, emotional trust in us, and her ability to be loved. The faithfulness of God in honoring the prayerful obedience of His children has completely overwhelmed us. Our lives have been forever changed for the better. We have been blessed with a gift that constantly reminds us not to take anything for granted. Lainie has done so many new things this year. When she came home, she could hardly sit up on her own or bear any weight on her legs. She was only eating totally pureed foods, was resistant to touch, and was withdrawn into her own little world. She preferred to be alone. This year has been lots of work, guided by an incredible team of therapists, proving to Lainie that she now has a reason to FIGHT. We have had to demonstrate to her the powerful motivation that family can be. She knows that she has a huge team of cheerleaders now. Her brother and sister have empowered her, as they celebrate every single accomplishment that she makes. They have embraced her with a love so powerful, it has moved me to tears many times. My “mama’s heart” knows that this love will carry her through the harsh reality of this world. She LOVES our praise and seems motivated more and more to try. She is using a few signs, giving kisses, laughing, eating different textured foods, and working hard to walk. She pulls to stand, crawls all over the house, and leads us to the bathtub or high chair on a regular basis:) There are so many great steps of progress that we have seen in her! She enjoys swimming, books, and music. She has become quite the little love bug and gets great joy out of wrestling her brother.

As a woman and a mother, my character has been challenged so much by this little lady. I feel as if she is teaching me how to fight, advocate, and educate. She has inspired me to work harder, push through the burn of my own workouts, smile when I feel like giving up, savor every gift of this life, and express gratitude for all the simple things. She has changed my mothering, helping me to appreciate things that I have taken for granted in the past. She is teaching me to assert myself, bridging the gap in awkward moments that require education for others. I am learning to challenge the staring with statements like: “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?!” I am also learning to let go of the ridiculously fake idea that we will ever have it “all together”. When I see other kids having tantrums in public now, I want to help and give that other mama a heart felt look of understanding. We are all in this together…..

Overall this year has really taught me, in the words of Mother Teresa, that: ‘A life not lived for others is not a life.’

Thank you for supporting our family throughout this journey!”